Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Working hard for my money!

Hello my blog reading peeps! And how are you this fine evening?
(points for answering this question and bonus points for answering this in the form of a question)

So you've probably asked yourself many times "Whatever could Daniel, that delicious piece of man meat, be doing whilst he is away from the webbernets?" Well ladies and stalkers alike today you're in luck, in this installment of Blog-O-Dan I shall answer that very question!

So I work at home on the family farm and as a comic book artist. But I'm just breaking into comics so every now and then I pick up odd jobs to help pay bills and give me some play money (aka hookers and blow money).

So far I've been a welders helper, picture framer, house framer, bush burner, art teacher, head of animal operations at a rodeo, construction worker, packing truck operator, Assistant manager in a department store, website evaluator and house demolisher. Right now I've picked up another odd job as an assistant mechanic on a big gravel hauling truck, we're rebuilding it from scratch. Anywhoo it's pretty fun, I get to work with my hands, build up a sweet and learn lots of junk, but the best part is the mechanic I'm working with the 65 year old man Ray.

Working with Ray is pretty much like working with Grandpa Simpson. He'll talk your ear off for an hour about trucks, fire extinguishers and swearing in the workplace and end the entire conversation by saying "and thats why me and my wife married so young"

But the best part about Ray is what he unknowingly calls his tools. I have used this to my advantage and for my own amusement. Here is an actual conversation I had with him today.

Ray "Danny have you seen the strap-on, I've been looking everywhere and can't find the sneaky bugger"

Me "I got the strap-on over here Ray, I'm just playing with the nuts."

Ray "Oh good, you keep playing with them I'll get you the rubber"

Me "But Ray I thought if we're using a strap-on you don't need a rubber"

Ray "Yes you always need a rubber, they keep the nuts dry"

Me "But ray I like getting my nuts wet, and the rubber doesn't feel good, besides there's no risk of disease with a strap-on"

Ray " ...... what do you mean no risk of disease .... just put the rubber on it's good for the nuts trust me when you get as old as me you'll learn these things"

Me "Does that mean when I get older I'll have to use the strap-on too Ray?"

Ray "Oh no, you should always use them, strap-ons do wonders for you"

Me "Great my girlfriend will be happy she loves strap-ons"

Ray "Oh so she's something of a mechanic too?"

Me "nope just loves strap-ons ... hey let me see those nipples"

Ray "What? Why? We don't need nipples there"

Me "I just like touching them when I work with the strap-on Ray, flicking them, nibbling on them, just having fun"

Ray ".......... haha never heard of that before but ok, as long as you get the work done"

The majority of our conversations are like this, me poking fun and giggling to myself at the sexually charged tool names and him utterly befuddled by what I'm saying. But then at the end of today old Ray hit me with one outta left field that went something like this ......

Ray "Oh boy Dan you should have seen my daughter when she was younger, about your age, man was she tight"

Me " ............ " *frozen in place with a deer-in-head-lights look on my face*

Ray "Me and my wife always said we couldn't believe how tight she was, cause she certainly never got it from us"

Me "uuuhhhh ......."

Ray "All the young boys and girls always said she was the tightest haha"

Me *at this point I lost all color in my face*

Ray "You'd have loved her, its so great dating a girl like that, they pinch every penny and you never have to spend a dime on them"

Me "OH! You mean tight with her money!"

Ray "yeah .... why?"

So I got about another week of work with old Ray, should provide me with some interesting stories haha

So thats all for me today, catch you all back here again, whenever I update this thing again, and as a parting gift I leave you all with a question.

Who were some interesting co-workers in your life?


  1. Amazing story. I just read it outloud (yep, doing both voices!) to my brother and we're still laughing about it.

    Oh the fancy tool names I've worked with on the rigs... my favorite is just making tool names and getting someone to fetch an unknown item.

    Also: strap-ons ftw.

  2. Danno ur aunty loves you :)

  3. Hahaha....I am amazed how deep in conversation you get while both of you are talking about two completely different things.

    Did Ray ever catch onto what YOU were thinking regarding his daughter's money???

    - Jess