Thursday, February 4, 2010

Texts from last Rumble

So this last Sunday was the WWE's annual Royal Rumble and for the first time in a long time this year I got back to watching wrestling again and decided to watch this event with a bunch of friends. And we decided to have a little fun and play a drinking game invented by my good friend and mentor Roger. Here's the rules if you're interested
Royal Rumble Drinking Game

Base rules:

Every time a Wrestler enters the Rumble, you drink
Every time a Wrestler is eliminated, you drink

Now the fun part Randomness:

Everyone picks one or two wrestlers, two for hardcore, one if your not. If its an old Royal Rumble, you can draw numbers/names from a hat, to decide on your wrestler.

*Shots can replace a chug.

When your guy enters the ring, you chug.
When your guy is disqualified, you chug.

Hardcore additional rules:
If your puts out a guy, everyone else drinks twice.
If your guy puts out some one else’s guy, they chug twice.
If your guy is put out by some one else’s guy you chug twice

Exceptional Hardcore:
If one of your guys puts out your other guy, you do four shots.
If a wrestler does a finisher, drink.
If an exceptional chop is done, drink.
If Ric flair woos, drink.

All in all the rumble was a radtacularly good time, and the drinking game was a blast
(some other people may argue that point and say that this was our first bad decision. I like to think it was the first bad decision in a whole lotta bad decisions that added up to one big good decision!)

Night started off pretty well, good times had by all watching some good old wrassiln' and gearing up for the rumble. Most of us including myself choose to play by the Exceptional Hardcore rules, second bad decision. We decide against replacing all drinks with straight shots, first and last good decision. And then Jay right before the match made the point that only 25 of the 30 wrestlers had been announced and that we should add another rule where we pick a 'Mystery wrestler' and if they enter the ring everyone else does 4 additional drinks. This was officially our last bad decision of the night.

For a more indepth look at the nights matches and highlights of some of the commentary from the night head on over to my friend Jeff's blog here

So we had our Rumble drinking party going on, and at the same time halfway across town Roger and his brother had their rumble drinking party going on. Me and Roger were the link between the two parties via text. And so I'd like to present to you a look at the Royal Rumble Drinking Game through a text screen.....

Dan: I picked Kane and Yoshi as my wrestlers, I think Yoshi's a japanese guy but I really hope it's the dinosaur from Mario

Roger: Dam Khalis giant man boobs and his pathetic ring out
Dan: I'd still motorboat them

D: Melissa picked CM punk and HBK Jay is gonna @#%$ punch her
R: I don't know what that means but I like it

R:Wanna curl

R: LOL oh man a friend picked edge
D: Laugh the booze away
R: I need to puke

D: need help I'm swimming in gay drinks
R: Beer is Gay vodka = straight sex

R:I'm something somehogn
D: I don't understand that but I support your decisions

R:Next year Buckets

R: Go go go! On to 97 rumble!
D: Your my hero and illegitamite child

D: I'm Jay's gay Friend!
R: Can I also be sparkaly gay super friend?

D: Jay finds you attractive
R: I also want to run my long fingers through his blonde hair
D: He regrets his lack of blonde hair

R: I was chugging oatmeal blackales
D: Is that 4% and you're a #@$% .... jay's words

Dan: I'm drunk ps I love yoooooooooooou! Like a midget loves a step ladder
Abby: Uh k
(Abby's my girlfriend for all you unlearned folk, and yes she is real I swear!)

R: Perkins (bleacher creature) says if you are real fans you will do another rumble
D: Jay says if you were a real fan you'll suck jays @#$%

Abby: Ya, so ur not drunk then?
Dan: No I defintly drunk like funk

R: I got Vader in 97
D: I never knew they allowed sith in wrestling
R: He beat a hooker
D: I want to father his children

R: Nice! Did people have fun there?
D: People died and you're a @$%#ing idiot ps I love you

D: He's around the toilet boo yah!
R: what was he drinking? I was doing dark ales
D: he was drinking meth
R:Hardcore I like It

D: you wanna make a
R: Baby? yes

R: Aluminum makes me hot
D: You make me feel funny like the rope in gym class

R: We just did a cheer to my friend Stevens penis!
D: We would also like to cheer to his penis

R: Nice. Please suck his left ball
D: Way ahead of you

R: I give you slivers with my penis of wood!
D: Me course

R: Pictures?
D: of my penis?

R: To the max you sweet 20 year farm boy
D: I'm 22 and a half!!!
R: Boo you lying mo to CHUG!!!
R: Lies and poppy cock

R: that was Candance telling you to chug
D: Hello Candance is it just me or am I hot in here

D: Wanna have a bromance?
R: Um roger or Candance?
D: I can't have a bromance with candance shes a womanfolk
R: Dam her and her exquisite breads!
D: She has bread?
R: Breasts
D: Breasts are also good
D: Give me the bread and all will be spared!

R: Awe I'm so linley and without the bromance
D: stop just stop ... you had me at wood penis

R: women want girth
D: so I should get fat?
R: Yes!

R: Put a drunk to ned
D: Draw help me no their heads backwards!

R: I like the way you move
D: Lets make a music video!

D: Alive?
R: that I am but very drunk how is the sister party?
D: Done, jay is crippled, had two pass out, I'm waiting for my ride but feeling peachy

R: Sweaty and dry. I may have caused ripping. But love shall prevail
D: Are you sexting me? or was that about my mother?
R: A little bit of both
D:Good cause that got me all hot and bothered. I'm ripping off your blouse

can't wait for next years haha


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I recall about half of these, although you must give credit to Candace for the texts between:

    "nice, please suck his left ball" to about "put a drunk to ned" which should have been bed.

    Original drinking game rules:

    Came about a lazy afternoon when my Brother and I decided to watch an old rumble...

  3. R: women want girth
    D: so I should get fat?
    R: Yes!

    Why is everyone stealing my strategy?